You ARE enough

Many of us want to change things about ourselves. It might mean we want to become stronger and fitter, or slimmer and more agile, or faster, or more accomplished in any number of physical pursuits. None of these is a problem. It’s perfectly laudable to seek to improve oneself. I just wanted to get that out the way before I go on.

Then there’s the dangerous areas on the edge of self-improvement. Some people, for example, want to be perfect. This sounds like a good idea, but it’s taking the desire to improve oneself to an unattainable and dangerous extreme. This really isn’t a good idea. It can lead to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Which can mean you’re constantly checking to make sure everything you do is absolutely perfect, which frankly can drive you insane. It can also slow down progress in anything you do, since you fail to attain perfection in everything, almost by definition.

It can lead to various eating disorders too, such as anorexia, where you do all you can to eat as little as possible, while burning off calories with excessive exercise at the same time. Not a good idea. Very much not a good idea, obviously, since it can lead to illness and maybe even death. In fact, of all the psychiatric disorders, anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate.

What causes eating disorders?

So what causes extremes like this? What pushes one person over the edge and into dangerous territory, while another person can quite happily enjoy exercise and, if he or she feels it’s necessary, diet to lose weight once in a while?

Obviously, there’s no simple answer. With some people, it’s all about control. They feel they have very little control over their lives but one thing they can control, and control completely, is how much they eat. So they do that, and then they become addicted to having that control, and they do anything to not let go of it.

With others, it might be a way of self-punishing. They feel they’ve done wrong, or they don’t live up to expectations (theirs or someone else’s), and they feel they must be punished. Quick way to do that? Deny yourself food. Eat very little. Even if you know it’s making you ill. Maybe even better if you know it’s making you ill.

Some people with these kinds of problems suffer with them for decades, even if they’re undergoing psychiatric treatment. So I’m not going to make a fool of myself saying the answer is simple, just do this and that and everything will be fine.

Guilt, lack of self worth, poor self-image

But these illnesses don’t appear out of nowhere, without any cause. In all of these illnesses there is something destructive at the back of it. It might be a pathetically poor self-image. It might be the feeling that you’re guilty of something, and that you’re therefore not worthy of all the simple things that ‘normal’ people take for granted.

And anorexia is a cunning, deceptive disorder; it convinces you that it’s right and it’s necessary, even in the face of all the evidence to the contrary.

For example, anorexics sometimes say that they are perfectly aware of the situation. They know they’re losing a lot of weight, far more than is normal, and that it’s unhealthy. They know that their inbuilt rules that restrict their eating are ridiculous and damaging. Yet they also know that the anorexic side of them demands that they act in a certain way. And that side of them is the stronger one.

There’s no easy answer

As I’ve already stated, there is no one simple answer to these kinds of illnesses or ailments. And I’m not going to suggest that there is. However, I will suggest something that might just help. It’s something very simple, and it might help in many of these illnesses. Again, I’m not saying it’s a cure, or that it will work overnight, or anything like that. But still, if it works, even for one person, and even if it takes a month of repetitions before any change is detected, then it will have been worth trying.

And what is this amazing thing I’m talking about? Just a simple affirmation that you can say at any time of the day. You can repeat it as often as you like. In fact, repetition is strongly encouraged. And you can say this affirmation even if you don’t believe it.

And here is the affirmation:

I AM ENOUGH

That’s it. If you want to embellish it, feel free. But if you want to leave it as it is, that’s fine too.

You see, I have a sneaking suspicion that a feeling of not being enough is often at the root of these psychiatric conditions. It might be that you’ve been made to feel inadequate at some time in your life, perhaps at a critical time in your life, such as at puberty.

It might mean someone has inadvertently suggested that you’re inadequate without meaning you any harm. Even so, your subconscious mind accepts what it hears and what it’s told uncritically. It doesn’t know what’s meant to be taken seriously or not. It doesn’t understand such niceties. It merely accepts them and builds them into your self-image. And once they’re in, they can be very difficult to shift.

A simple affirmation might help

But even a simple thing like a positive affirmation, repeated often enough, can sometimes heal an emotional hurt. Even something as short, as concise, and as broad can be taken on board by the subconscious mind, and once it starts to be fully accepted it can cause the shift that’s needed to heal old wounds.

I AM ENOUGH

Remind yourself that you are enough, and do it often enough that it becomes an automatic mantra. Say it so often that, even when you’re not saying it to yourself consciously, it is ticking over in the background.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

The message that you are indeed enough starts to get through, and in time it might well start to crack the concrete holding in place that idea that you are lacking in some way.

So I’m not suggesting something strange, or difficult, or outlandish. I’m not suggesting you need to sit in the lotus position, in the dark, in complete silence. I’m not saying you need to devote your every waking hour to this pursuit. I’m just suggesting that you adopt this simple affirmation, if indeed you have an ailment that we’ve been talking about (or, on second thoughts, even if you don’t).

It might work even if you don’t believe it

Yes, even if the last thing you want to believe is that you are enough, it still might work. Even if that’s a very unpalatable statement for you to hear, let alone speak. In fact, the more you disbelieve this statement, the more you need to say it!

You need to drip-feed this information into your subconscious mind. Whether you mean you are skilled enough … or slim enough …or good enough … or deserving enough … or powerful enough … or any of a thousand other possibilites. Whatever that simple phrase means to you. Just say it. And repeat it, over and over. And, in time, you will be repeating it with emotion.

You might struggle to do that at first, because consciously it might go directly against your strongly held beliefs about yourself. But in time your subconscious mind will embrace this phrase and believe it. And that’s when the magic might start to happen.

It just might work

I say might because, as I’ve said more than once, I don’t really know what causes these problems and I don’t know how to cure them. But I do believe that telling yourself you are indeed enough would probably be a very good place to start.