Baby Steps Can Be The Start Of Something Monumental!
Things just aren’t going well for you. I know the feeling, believe me! Nothing you do seems to make much difference (although in truth, you don’t actually feel like doing much anyway … even the thought of doing something makes you feel uncomfortable). You just don’t know what to do next.You feel frustrated … stagnant … overcome with inertia. You feel miserable and disheartened. Where do you go next? What do you do?
There’s always something you can do
I know it doesn’t feel like it, but there is a way out of this feeling. You’ve got to find it, that’s all. And it might be different for you than it is for me, or anyone else. But there’s always a way. In the heart of any problem, there’s a solution hiding, and it’s up to you to dig it out.
As with everything else, there are steps you can take. Again, those steps won’t be the same for you as for someone else, but trial and error will get you there. And here’s an important tip: once you find what works for you, make a note of it! Why go through this whole procedure each time you feel depressed or disheartened? Just remember (and note down!) the steps you took that led you to getting out of that situation, and next time you can just start with the first step.
Here’s some of the things you could do that might help …
- Stop and evaluate
- Do something physical
- Make a deal with yourself
- Write stuff down
- Make a list
- Be happy anyway!
- Feel a sense of gratitude
Now these things mightn’t make much sense to you because we’re all individuals, but I’ll go through them anyway and explain how they just might be useful. Bear in mind the steps you take to get yourself out of that hole of despair might be quite different, but even so there might be something here that will work for you.
First, stop and evaluate. Just stop. Whatever is making you feel this way, just stop and face it for a moment. Ask yourself why you’re feeling this way. What’s the problem, exactly? Face it. Sometimes this step alone can set you on the right track. Once you see the problem for what it is (and sometimes it’s far less intimidating once you face it squarely) then it becomes much easier to deal with.
Do something physical. You feel lousy, and chances are you’ve been sitting there for ages feeling miserable, or moping around like a bored teenager. You don’t have to let this carry on — just get up and do something that gets the blood flowing and takes your mind off the problem. Go for a walk round the block. Do a set of press ups. Grab your skipping rope and give it your best for a few minutes. Go for a short bike ride. Do a bit of shadow boxing. Make funny faces in the mirror and see if you can make yourself laugh. Just do something …
Make a deal with yourself. Give yourself a good talking to and make a deal that if you just get on with it, you can have some [slot in your favourite snack right here]. It’s just a little inducement, the way you might tell a child of four or five that if they go and brush their teeth they can watch five minutes of cartoons before bed.
Write stuff down. This can really help (well, for me anyway). Just grab a pen (or go to your keyboard) and start writing stuff down. It doesn’t even have to make sense. Just let the words flow. Write anything and see where it leads you. It can be surprising how quickly you realise you’ve written down the answer to your problem, or at least something that will lead you in the right direction. The brain can do that kind of thing when you’re not even paying attention to it!
Make a list. Wow, the power of lists! This can be a big help. What kind of list? Up to you! Make a list of the different ways you feel lousy (e.g. frustrated, unable to make a decision, impotent, fed up, tired, lost, whatever). Make a list of the effects this problem is causing (stopping you moving on, making you feel bad, making you feel like a failure, etc). Make a list of the various ways you’ll feel better once you get back on the horse, so to speak. Make a list of what you want to achieve, even the tiniest bits of what making progress might look like. Just, y’know … make a list and see what happens!
Be happy anyway! Look, there’s no law that says you have to have a reason to be happy. No, seriously. You can be happy now, right now, for no reason whatsoever, and they can’t touch you for it. 🙂 Just decide to be happy and you’re almost there … then start to let your face and body know about your decision.
Smooth out those worry lines and wrinkles. Drop your shoulders and let all that tension out. Put a smile on your face, even if it’s a forced one (and it might well be, considering the circumstances, but that’s OK). Once you start changing your physiology, the mood follows; yes, I know it’s usually the other way round. Usually, you start to feel good and then you adopt certain poses, stances, facial expressions, etc, that usually go along with feeling good. But here’s the thing — it works both ways!
Make your face and body do what they do when you feel good, and you’ll pretty soon start to feel good. Magic! You’ve heard the expression “Fake it till you make it” … well this is that expression in action.
Feel a sense of gratitude. One of the best ways to feel better is to start feeling deeply grateful for all the amazing things in your life. And there are some truly amazing things in your life! You can breathe, you can walk, you can think, you can laugh (yeah, even if it’s forced!) and you can make plans.
You can use an indoor toilet (and there are so many in the world who can’t), you can take a shower, you can go to the fridge and get something to eat, you can get clean water right from the tap, you can curl up in a nice warm bed tonight and sleep (yeah, with a roof over your head too!), you can go outside and get some sweet, fresh air, you can watch something amazing on TV, or Netflix, or YouTube, you can communicate with people literally all over the world sitting at your computer … the list is literally endless.
And you should rightly feel genuinely grateful for each and every one of those things, and dozens more, because for most of the people in the world (and most of those who have ever lived on this planet), most of those things are not, or were not, available, or would have only been available at great cost or great risk (or both).
And if you’ve just read this paragraph and you’re still not feeling grateful you need to have a serious word with yourself!
Are these points useful for you?
You might find these points useful. On the other hand, you might think they’re way off the mark and really just a waste of time. Even so, they might still have been helpful in that they made you think of things that might be useful to you when you’re feeling down. Whatever is the case, do something to get yourself out of this slump. Remember, there’s great power in taking action.
And when you’re feeling better, start to make a few small changes, even little tiny ones, so that you’ve at least made a start (baby steps, remember … it always starts with baby steps!). It can be very useful to keep a record of these small changes so that you can look back and see what route you took to get out of the slump, and what steps you took towards solving the problem that caused it.
Look, an electrician will follow a certain path or routine to track down a fault. And he’ll be very careful to note which things are useful for him to do in search of that fault, and which ones might actually be dangerous (or just a complete waste of time). Take the same approach – note down what works and what doesn’t. It’ll pay off in the future!
Don’t ignore this step — it’s really important. It can help you learn what works well for you. So note down everything you do to get out of the slump and everything that gets you moving again, and in the right direction.
Remember, a slump is temporary. Always. It never holds you back longterm. It’s just a blip. A bump in the road. And looking back from a distance you won’t even be able to see the bump, never mind what caused it. The trick is to remember the value in making small changes, and taking small steps.
Everything starts small anyway — even very, very big things. The Golden Gate bridge was just a sketch once. The jumbo jet was just a vague idea. The tallest skyscraper in the world was nothing more than an idea in somebody’s mind, an idea that it would be great to build something taller than any other building in the world. And then, bit by bit, great things started to happen. But they all started with ideas, and tiny little baby steps.
Great oaks from little acorns grow! There’s a wealth of truth in this little saying, and keeping it in mind might help you realise how tiny changes can eventually lead to great things.