If You’re Not Happy With Who You Are, Change Who You Are!

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If you take stock and find that you’re not happy with who you are, maybe it’s time to change that person. Start by visualising yourself as you’d like to be. See yourself as happy, content, successful, wealthy, desirable, comfortable in the company of others, fulfilled, physically active and fit, radiantly healthy, full of energy, and always optimistic. If any of these adjectives don’t jibe with your ideas of your ideal self, ditch them, or replace them with something more agreeable.

Create an image of yourself, right now, of the person you wish you were. It doesn’t matter if you are physically out of shape. Or if you are shy. It doesn’t matter if you are physically restricted in some way. Or if you have routinely seen yourself as a failure. Let me repeat … IT DOESN’T MATTER!

Create a new, and detailed, self-image

Create an image of yourself as you wish you were. Make it a comprehensive image, carefully drawn and detailed. Write it down. It might start something like this (or like something entirely different, of course, depending on how you see yourself, ideally):

“I’m lean and muscular. I’m slim at the waist, which makes my physique even more impressive. Regular training means that I’m fit and strong, and best described as athletic. More than that, I’m actually confident in my fitness, and not at all showy or brash in my attitude. I’m quietly confident, if you like.

I’m a decisive man, and I get things done. I used to be a chronic procrastinator, but that’s all in the past. Now I decide on a course of action and I’m off and running. I don’t waste time and I generally don’t do false starts; I start off on a carefully thought-out plan of action and I stick to it till it reaches its conclusion. The result of this is that I set out to achieve things, and that’s exactly what I do … I achieve things.

I’m known as a man who, when he wants something, goes for it one hundred percent. I don’t play unfairly, or take advantage of people … I just make the most of every opportunity, and that spells success for me, virtually every time.”

Time to step out of the shadows!

out of the shadowsInsert passages to include how smart you are, or how prosperous, or how healthy, or whatever seems important to you. It’s entirely up to you, but feel free to elaborate grandly here. You’ve quite probably spent most of your life minimising your own qualities – time now to recognise them, and to use your new view of them to your advantage.

Of course, if you’re a woman you’d change this to suit your gender, but the heart of it would remain essentially the same. You would be stressing the positive aspects of yourself, just the same as you would if you were a man.

Create this fabulous and detailed image of yourself, and refine it as much and as often as you like. Make yourself, in this image, ridiculously wealthy and successful (if that would be a valid part of your ‘success’ image). Make yourself absolutely stunningly healthy. Make yourself happy and fulfilled. Make yourself a leader and an encourager of others. Make yourself the kind of person others look up to. Make yourself the kind of person others depend on, and model themselves on.

Believe in yourself!

And most of all, do yourself the great favour of believing everything about this image you have constructed. Don’t listen to any nagging little voice inside your head that’s telling you this isn’t true, or that isn’t right, or even possible. I repeat: DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE.

That’s the voice that desperately wants you to stay just as you are. That’s the voice of ‘reality’! It will tell you anything if only you will stay exactly where you are right now and not make any effort to drag yourself out of the little pigeon hole you’ve made for yourself.

There’s a part of you that hates change. It’s frightened that you will fail. It wants to protect you from the pain of failure, and it will quite happily strangle at birth any plans you have to improve yourself in any way … as long as you stay just as you are, safe and obedient to its wishes. It’s your job to go against this trend, otherwise you’re destined to stay as you are forever.

But you have to be realistic!

realisticOh really? And where has this ‘being realistic’ tactic got you so far? Yeah, that’s right … exactly where you are now! If this is the result of being realistic, maybe it’s finally time to be imaginative … inquisitive … bold … creative … optimistic.

Your imagination is the creator of your world. Too often we fail to use our imagination, or we use it only to create a miserable, unfulfilled version of ourselves. We see ourselves as less than successful, less than happy, less than desirable … in short, less than. And we fall into the trap of reasoning that yes, we are miserable, we are a failure.

Do all you can to combat this disease of seeing yourself as lacking. Create a magnificently successful self-image and carry it with you every moment of the day. This is the blueprint for your future success, and it is vital that you both construct it carefully and sear it into your mentality.

Back it up!

To reinforce it, create powerful affirmations and print them out so that you can see them often, and repeat them to yourself.

Affirmations like …

I am magnificently healthy.

I know how to heal myself, and I do it easily and naturally.

I have access to an endless supply of energy.

I am calm, confident and fulfilled.

I am in touch with the source of all power.

I am wealthy and successful.

With every breath I take, I ingest the energy of the Universe.

I don’t procrastinate … I simply get things done!

I have no fear of failure. Every trip or stumble is a step nearer to achievement.

I grasp opportunities and squeeze the best out of them.

I am endlessly grateful for all the good things in life.

I love everybody, and everybody loves me!

If you have specific ‘failings’, such as procrastination, or laziness, or lack of motivation, or lack of any specific goals in life … or whatever … then address them with specifically targeted affirmations.

Write them down!

I attract all good thingsDon’t make the mistake of thinking you know what affirmations you need to say to yourself and you will remember them, in every detail. If you’ve taken the time to construct them carefully, then write them down. Make it easy on yourself. Have them onscreen where you can see them often, or have them printed out and carry them around with you on a card. Laminate a list of them if you like. Do whatever works for you. And if you have them with you, use them at every opportunity.

And do it properly. Don’t write long, rambling affirmations; keep them short, punchy, and to the point. Make it easy on your brain! You want something your subconscious can easily grasp. And make sure they can’t be misinterpreted; make each one of them absolutely clear so there can be no mistake or ambiguity. And, very importantly, don’t use any negative suggestions in them, even if they’re hidden in plain sight. Keep a sharp lookout for mistakes that could mean your subconscious will be struggling to make sense of your affirmations, or, worse still, taking you in the wrong direction altogether.

Don’t use bad language!

I don’t care if you curse or swear, that won’t make a bit of difference. But if you keep using negative language, all the affirmations in the world won’t be much use to you. I’m talking about making the mistake of using such phrases as:

I just can’t do it.

I’m always tired these days.

If there’s an infection going around, I’m sure to get it … I always do!

I can’t spell, never could.

I’m a mess. Look at me, I’m a disgrace!

I should have made a success of life by now.

I’m fat, but then I always have been. I was born fat!

I couldn’t run a business of my own, I’m not smart enough!

I don’t understand how to ‘make a go of it’.

The teachers were right … they said I’d end up a bum.

I’m too plain, why would anyone waste their time on me?

It’s all over for me, I’m too old.

My place is a mess and I have no idea how to fix it up.

Everything I touch turns to … crap!

It’s not worth me starting something ‘cos I never stick with it and make it happen. I just don’t know how!

I put things off, and they just never get done.

I could literally add another 20 or 30 bad affirmations (or baffirmations, if you like), and I wouldn’t even break a sweat. They’re so prevalent because we all do it, to some extent, and often we’re not even aware that it’s happening. That’s why (well, one reason anyway) we’re not as successful as we’d like to be.

Whether you actually vocalise thoughts like this, or simply allow them to fester in your mind, they will damage you. They will be poison to your plans, and to your self-image. Protect yourself from them, just as you would be very careful not to take powerful drugs that aren’t meant for you.